October 29, 2009

i want new jeans!!!

heheheh emo kejap...sebab tak dpt pakai jeans yang size kecil ;p

uwaaa bile nak kurus ni. perut x mo turun pun :(

i'm planning to consume something, so wait my new 'nana'..wakakakkaka..

but i have to snap my current figure ( this is fresh pic, baru je ambik pagi tadi..;p)..current weight - 56kg!!!! goshhh!!

October 28, 2009

it become..

...a routine now!

isnin - pagi2 baru balik kl, kerja..tinggallah anak kesayangan ummi dengan wan nye..
so sepjg hari isnin sehingga ke esok hari nya, susu hanya di perah dan di simpan di fridge rumah / ofis..
selasa - gi kerja cam biasa, petang balik rumah kejap n pump. malam balik seremban dgn en husband membawa bekalan susu utk kegunaan rabu dan khamis..tak sia2 aku membeli coolman coolbox ;0
rabu - ulang rutin seperti isnin..activity mengepam mcm biasa for 24 hours ( dari 7 pagi ke 7 pagi esok, total dpt la 30++oz )..so boleh la simpan extra di fridge kalau utk chiller dah cukup ( ebm kt chiller i purposely keep for daily use on d next day)..
khamis - petang nya balik seremban naik komuter bersama bekalan susu..tapi selalunya singgah rumah dulu to do pumping ;)..terkial2 la bawak coolman naik komuter ;p. takde sape tau ape aku bwk. hahahah..khamis husband x ikut balik lah, sebab nanti sabtu nak balik lg. lagipun balik dah sampai malam. luqman nak kt aku je pun ;p tired but enjoy!
jumaat - pagi dah sampai kl, ptg balik semula ke seremban sebab en husband kerja sabtu, so takmo la tunggu dia. kesiankan baby je.. kali ni bawak bekalan susu jugak.tp utk disimpan di dlm freezer je. nextweek pnye bekalan akan di pump di hari minggu.

selalunye i will put frozen milk+fresh milk altogether ( selalunye terjadi utk hari isnin & selasa lah ) klau malam tu my bb tak direct feeding with me. nak letak all fresh milk, stock hari weekend selalu x dpt byk ( fresh milk kan tak tahan lama). yelah, isnin mlm he still need to be feeded, aku takde, so ebm je lah mak sumbat. so total for 24hours spjg aku takde, i always spare about 12packs = 12 feeding, 2-3oz each feeding.that's why, i have to top up with frozen milk. lebih untung kalau org yang malam dia bf direct sebab they don't really worry about stocks. like me, i have to think about it bcos i'm not around to feed my baby..so bygkan nak bagi fresh milk hari isnin n selasa, stock must be ready a day before. so of cos la weekend kan? tapi imagine yang weekend i will always with my baby n direct feeding him. so nak pump memang lah agak payah.fyi, i don't like give all frozen milk to my bb in a day, at least give some fresh milk..lainlah org yg jmpa baby dia waktu malam, at least dpt gak baby tu minum fresh dari ladang..hehehe..so klau utk rabu n khamis selalunye dia dpt fresh milk je lah..frozen ni kegunaannye if betol2 tak ckp stock.

i can feel d tiredness of having here n there in every 2 days. tapi apa kan daya, ini lah pengorbanan seorang ibu. hanya yang telah mengalaminye akan memahami mengapa kita sanggup melakukan sesuatu yang dahulu kita tak sanggup pun buat.

*stok susu tak lah byk macam org lain bcos i always been away from my baby. kdg2 takut dia tak cukup, so i asked mom to take it out extra from frozen. tup2 selalu membazir and buang. so now total dlm frozen for back up x sampai 50packs lg..almost kot? tak sempat nak kira..huhuhu..cemana la nak byk sebab asyik nak kena guna topup je on monday n tuesday..the rest of d day memang fresh milk, so tak touch frozen milk.topup jerrr..grrrrr

October 26, 2009

sedangkan kucing sygkan anak..

Full of expression..i love to see him in any expression..melalak, sengih sorang2, gelak, berangan..muahahahhahaa..they r so funny!i'm sure everyone had d same experiences, no? budak kecik yg tak tau pape, buat ape2 pun nampak chomel!!!!

i can't even get myself understand why got those people yang sampai hati, tergamak, berhati binatang buang baby dalam keadaan yang tak berbaju or sehelai towel di tepi2 jalan, masjid, bus stand..can u imagine it? baby yang di tinggalkan dlm keadaan kesejukan, menggigil2, menangis sehingga lemah tak bersuara due to lost of energy and of cos, cannot cope with surrounding. apa la dosa mereka? mak ayah mereka yang berdosa!!! eee tolong lah..if i read this in newspaper, surely my son face play in mind!tak tergemak aku, i won't do that! i loveeee himmmm, how could i do that??! eventhough if the baby is not my son, i don't think i'm that cruel to let that little baby terseksa macamtu weiii..ape la yg dia tau..sejuk menggigil dgn takde org hold them..perasaan takut dgn baru lahir ke dunia yang penuh dengan janji palsu ni..pity them. i hope there's 'someone' who actually protect them.

kucing pun sayangkan anak ;(
anyway, this is my baby who's playing with himself..his gugu-gaga lang is damn cute!

this is amatur video, sound might be a bit slow. pls on ur speaker louder ;p

October 21, 2009

u make me melt

malam2 gini biasa la dtg sentimental feeling tu..especially bila luqman takde depan mata kan. so layan aje lah gambar yang ade dalam pc ni. klau rindu2 kt office, boleh gak bukak blog sendiri n tgk gmbr ni. huhuhuh..miss him badly :'( ..tak abis2 dgn jiwang aku ni. ahhh jiwang ngan anak sendiri, takkan ade org nk kesah kot?

so layan..
tgk nih dia tido..selambak rasenye isi2 kt pipi n bdn tu..hihihi ;p

luqman tgk ape ni sayang???? nk kiss camera eh?


luqman pndi dah respond bile ummi agah dia..

ini gmbr yg direka cipta oleh kakakku.membuli luqman betol..mentang2 dia tgh tido..huhuhu

luqman suke terkitai-kitai gini. errr korang tau tak terkitai-kitai tu ape?


ni pun sama. tgn, kaki tu taknak duk diam..terkitai-kitai je ;p



haaa..ni ms bergolek2 ngan dia pas bf. nak suh dia amik gmbr sesama kemain la susah. lagi kita rapatkn muka, dia duk pusing kiri pusing kanan. ini je yg sempat di snap, itu pn masuk sekerat. tp dia pndg camera plak tu, good boy!

ok la..daaaa

October 20, 2009

my heart blank

semalam luqman got his first jab for 2 months..di n9, sistem dia lain skit compare to KL. jab bermula pd usia 2 bln dan jenis injection dia pn lain skit..ada beberapa state yg buat gitu. sebab tu bile nak decide cucuk kt mana, diorang suh kita confirmkan. nak buat kt KL ke or kt Seremban. So i have decided, buat kt Seremban je lah senang since baby pn tinggal kt sana :(

takot jugak klau2 luqman melalak tak tentu pasal. at first biasa la dia mcm ok je gi klinik awal2 pagi. sure lepas ni dia mcm mengantuk nak tido, pastu nk susu lg. so sementara tunggu tu, bawak la dia masuk ke bilik penyusuan. sempat la dia lelap kejap2 kt situ. huhu..

then tunggu turn kt luar, agak2 lepas dh jmpa nurse, dah timbang..wahh anak ummi dh berat, 5.8kg for 2 months & pjg about 60cm!!! huhu no wonder dukung lelama lenguh tgn ummi ni. kesian mak wan kan?? dah la ptg2 kena bawak luqman menebeng..hahahaha..luqman luqman..ape2 aje anak ummi ni. janji jgn nakal2 eh ;0

so bile turn cucuk, ms tu hubby yg tgh dukung dia. so terus bawak masuk bilik. lega bcos hubby yg tlg pegang dia ms nk cucuk. me on other hand, berdiri je tgk luqman nk kena cucuk. kesian pn ada..to sooth him, i give him my finger ( ganti pacifier lah ni)..mane tak nye, ms hubby pangku dia cm ala2 bf tu, dia duk isap2 baju hubby. hihihi..tu i bagi jari je kasi dia isap kejap. then bile jarum tu masuk je kt peha ubi ( bak kata ida ) dia..hehehe..dia pn melalak la sekuat ati. tp amazing, lalakan itu hanya seketika aje. i pujuk dia ckp itu ini, dia pn cm senyap. huhu..alhamdulillah..

cpt tol setel..kitorg kuar, hubby gi farmasi amik ubat. i plak bawak dia ke kereta, pasang aircond..xmo kasi dia meragam. balik2 rumah bagi dia ubat paracetamol tu, nk prevent from demam la kononnye..dia merengek2, masukkn dia dlm buai. nak bagi dia susu bukan xmo, nurse advise suh tunggu after 1/2 jam baru boleh bf dia. sian anak ummi kan..masuk buai dia cm lalok2 skit kot kesan dr ubat demam tu. dh stgh jam gitu, baru bagi dia susu sblm dia smbg tido balik. so by lunch time, kitorg terus balik KL ( bcos i took haf day sajer)..

ptg tu call mak, k.su yang angkat. dia ckp luqman demam skit. alaaa kesiannye anak ummi :( klau ummi ade dkt, leh ummi pujuk sayang..leh luqman manja2 ngan ummi. tp ummi kerja la syg, utk luqman jugak ..:((..k.su ckp luqman meragam skit, mgkn carik ummi sebab nak mengopek. tp k.su ckp takde bende lah..k.su mcm cuba nak pujuk ummi supaya ummi tak risau. tapi cemana ummi tak risau bile dgr anak ummi demam, pastu merengek je :((

pg td ummi call mak lg. mak ckp malam td luqman taknak tido seperti selalu. susu dah bagi, tp menangis mcm meragam. kesiannye luqman..ummi hnya boleh doakan luqman cpt sembuh je. tp lebih sedih bile mak ckp luqman macam cari2 ummi mlm td, tu luqman merengek2 tu..mak, k.su, akak gilir2 jaga luqman, kul3 pagi baru luqman nak lelap. itu pn jaga balik dlm kul5-6 gitu. kesian kt semua org. mesti mak tak cukup rehat..

"luqman, luqman jgn nangis2 ek. arini ummi balik. malam ni luqman tido ngan ummi. peluk ummi. ummi tau, luqman kuat..ms cucuk pn luqman nangis kejap je lepas ummi pujuk.tak lama lagi je ummi n daddy nak pindah seremban. lepas ni tiap2 malam luqman leh tido ngan ummi ye sayang...ummi sayang luqman sgt, jgn nakal2 ye sayang. sian kt mak wan.."

October 15, 2009

aku rinduuuuu...aku rindu!

rindu sgt kt luqman!!!!

"luqman..luqman...ummi nihhh.."

"luqman buat ape tuh..??"

"haa..ahhh..ermmm.."

"luqman..."

"haaa.."

how sweet..u seemed can recognize my voice, even through phone!i really missed you sayang..:'((

pagi tadi sblm gi keja call mak. wadah (my niece) yang jawab. tanya luqman tgh buat pe? tgh minum susu katanya..baik anak ummi. dah mandi lom? belumm, tgh nk bg isi perut dia dulu la tu. kang x pasal2 nangis ms mandi. huhuhu..

pastu ms on the way to office, mak plak call. mak suh cakap ngan luqman. then i put it on speaker so that my husband can hear his gugu-gaga-ing..hihihi..

so masa i panggil2 nama dia and tell him that this is his mom..dia duk menjawab2 la..macam faham je yang panggil ni ummi dia :'((..byk kali jugak pggl and dia pn jawab..dgn bahasa dia lah..

sebelum hang up, my mom cakap, sambil jawab2 tu..dia duk tgk kiri kanan..(mungkin cari dimana suara tu dtg..)..

sayang, malam ni ummi balik eh..:(

(nak nangis lg boleh takkkkk???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!kenapa berat sgt dugaan ni..ya Allah berilah aku sedikit kekuatan)

October 14, 2009

now i know how d feeling is..

one word - TERTEKAN -

dalam tertekan mesti datang kesedihan, kan?

now i know how d feeling being a mom..well, ur own son mah!

fyi, i left my son at my mother's house. yah i know that's good. but u shud ask where my mom's place?

SEREMBAN

yep, not that far. SEREMBAN - KL - SEREMBAN. but i have my own story why i feel sad, feel bad, feel incomplete and so on..

:((((((

currently i still fully breastfeed my baby. i keep stock for him. tapi yang tak bagus, jumpa dia every 2 days!!! how bad!

macamana i nak express d feeling ek. i cried at night, i missed him badly, i wanted to hug&kiss him everyday.

yesterday was my first attempt ( after came back to office on monday) went back hometown after 1 day plus not seeing him. u know what, when i first arrived home, i heard him crying. i quickly open d door and get him. he suddenly quite and stare at me when i called his name :(..

terus bwk masuk bilik and breastfeeding him.dia sgt rakus mcm haus gile walhal my mom told me she just gave feed him an hour ago. tp dia mcm terus snyp, sambil termenung lama..i can feel her feeling!right after that, he looks soo happy bergurau2 dgn i.

bile di office, i always called mom dgn harapan nak bercakap ngan dia ( of cos wktu dia jaga la). i called his name, dia dgr wpn sblm tu i dgr dia mcm merengek.dia terus snyp and termenung. like today, i called again, calling his name, dia menyahut!"haa..haa.."..waaa sedihnya..

the worst part is..bile malam, my mom cuba utk tidak keluarkan dia dr buai seawal yang mgkn utk pindah ke katil bcos dia akan terpandang2 kiri n kanan or atas mcm mencari sesuatu. bcos spjg bercuti, we used to spend time together on bed while breastfeeding him..:((((( kesiannya anak ummi. i know u missed me, i missed u too baby..i will try my best to solve this problem soon . i want to be always with u. i love u..

October 7, 2009

almost 2 months..

hmm pejam celik, kejap dh nk 2 bulan aku bercuti. malasnyeee nak masuk keje isnin ni. kenapa la cepat sgt ek???

dah la nak tgglkan buah ati ummi kt sini :(((((..

dalam tak sedar, luqman dah pun besar didepan mata ummi yg kdg2 ummi pun tak perasan. rasa cam baru je kuar dari perut ni. huhuhu..anak dah besar, ummi je tak kecik2 :P

jom jamu mata tgk anak yg dari hari ke hari membesar ni..rasa sgt berbaloi for past 9 months..hehehhe..alhamdulillah!!










Sekian dari ummi luqman :)


October 1, 2009

cemas

memang cemas..tmbh2 ada anak kecik ni.

plan utk duk seminggu di KL berubah jd 3 hari je!



mlm td slmt sampai di seremban setelah decided utk balik saje. mak pun ape lg, sukeee la dgr luqman balik. sebab spjg 3 hari kt KL tu, dia call hari2 tnya luqman buat pe. nk ckp on the phone kate nye. mcm paham je budak tecik tu :P kaksu siap ckp mak nangis rindukan luqman. alahai sedih nya aku dgr..pastu siap kiss gmbr luqman dlm phone kaksu :( what to do..



actually ape yg cemas membuatkan kitorg balik seremban ialah, jam 6 lebih smlm, tibe2 tgh aku nk tukarkan diaper luqman..bob tgh baring2 kt sofa. dia dgn suara cemas tibe2 bangkit dr baring .."hah??" mcm seolah2 rupe dia tu aku ingat dia lupa sesuatu..tp dlm keadaan duduk dan sedikit condong bdn nye..dia ckp.."badan abg yg goyang ke or umah ni yg goyang"..aku yg mulanya tak rasa pape cuba fokus pada rasa tu. yesssss...shaking!!!



"ye la banggggg..."

"cepat2 na siap.."

"alamak luqman x tkr pampers lg"

"pakaikan je balik, na cpt tkr baju.."



dlm keadaan kelam kabut, husband pakai seluar, aku lari ke bilik amik baju suar pakai ..tudung pn tak sempat capai..sementara tu husband pakaikan diaper yg td balik sbb aku dh bukak kan nya..aku capai handbag, bergegas kami turun. rupenye ramai dh turun. ayoyoyoyo..agak cemas sbb aku tak pernah rasa shaking mcm tu. husband ckp dia penah rasa ms study dulu kt shah alam..siap frame kt rumah jatuh.



aduh cemas..anak plak cm snyp terkebil2..ms naik kete husband bawak laju2 kuar dr blok. then pikir nak pergi rumah sape ek. teringat rumah abg pn blok tinggi gak..nk gi umah pakcik aku, aku ni dh la jrg gi umah dia, time susah plak nak cari dia :P then teringat rumah paklong husband. call dia, dia pn ade kt rumah. tp otw nak pergi, salah masuk jalan. dh la masa tu org mgkn baru balik keje sume. jalan jem. so husband ckp, balik rumah balik la amik barang. otw nk amik barang husband tnya..nak balik seremban tak. for me, i don't mind. tp mcm nak jaga hati suami gak..hmm dia ckp balik je lah. ok aje..



luqman plak cm nangis2 ms tu. nak menyusu agaknye. aku layankan dia kasi isap jari aku dulu sbb ms tu cm x sesuai nk bg susu sebab bas sume byk keliling. adoi aii..



so sampai je umah berkejar naik rumah balik. kemas barang2, tkrkan diaper, susukan luqman. then cabuttttttttt balik seremban. phew lega. sblm gerak kuar tu pn husband rasa sekali gegaran lg. alhamdulillah semua selamat...



okla letih menaip orang dtg beraya pulak...........ok daaaaaa